Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just pee around me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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