Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
