It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
