after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will be naked everywhere
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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