the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize