home. puking in laundry basket.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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