i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
