I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
