i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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