I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
