This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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