He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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