how can u be prego again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
