When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
