he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
