so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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