I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
