my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize