She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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