Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
