so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
