Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
