I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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