Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
