Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
