I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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