i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
