I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
