No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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