this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
