Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize