I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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