They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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