This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
