So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
