Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
