Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
