How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
