i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
