sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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