so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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