Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize