this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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