he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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