The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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