dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
