you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
