i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
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I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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