all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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