you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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