you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
