Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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