every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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