How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
