I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
