if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
