she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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