theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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