that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
