Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
