Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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