I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
